The Smaller Side of Life- back in the day

Thinspo wasn't created yesterday. Women have been trying forever to make themselves different. I wanted to look up some older pics of beautiful women- so here you go:

1910:

1920's:








The 1930's:










The 1940's:










The 1950's:

Stressed and Busy

Uh, these last two days have been rough- and it's just the beginning of what's gonna be a VERY difficult week!
These last two days I've been filling in for the other person in my office as well as doing my own job. Luckily, the work load wasn't too busy- but just being the only person in the office and dealing with everything by myself made for some very long days.
By the time I get home every night, I'm so tired and my back is killing me- so I just want to lay down - but I can't because I'm moving on Friday and have so much stuff to pack.
Tonight I came home, rested my back, then got the kitchen all set aside to go to be packed. At least that's one thing finished.
Tomorrow at work I start a 3 day class - so I'll be doing normal work in the morning and then in class until 4:30 pm everyday. Friday is going to be nuts though! I'll have my car packed on Thursday night, then I go to the housing office first thing Friday morning to get the keys and sign the last part of the lease, run over to the new house, empty my car into the garage, go to work, go to class, then back up to my old house to get another car load and my dog- then to the new house to start prepping to paint all Saturday.
Ugh. All of my stuff has to be finished being moved by Sunday, so it's gonna be a very fast week.
I do have good news though - which is also stressing me out. We'll be able to find out next week if we got pregnant this month or not. (fingers crossed, but I don't think so)

Love ya girlies!

A little Doc-ta and a little Par-tay

Ohhh, what a weekend! It was so short, and yet I feel like last Friday was a month ago! I got so much done, planning stuff out for my big move this week (picking up the keys on Friday!!), getting through a great doc's appt that I've been waiting for forever, finished my homework (and learned something, hehe), and even made it out to two friend's houses for get togethers. Whew, no wonder I'm tired.
So- the doc's appt was for my back. I finally got into see my regular doctor, who's normally totally impossible to get an appt with. He was great- I love the fact that he'll take his time during our appts and really listen to everything I need to talk about- especially since I only get to see him every so often and usually bring a list of things to discuss.
One of my favorite moments this weekend though, happened tonight. A friend of mine had a party to celebrate being done with a crappy thing (too long of story to tell). He's the only person in the world who knows about my mia, which he found out about after I got totally drunk one night and ended up spilling all of my secrets to. Well, tonight at the party, he pulled me aside and told me that if I needed to purge (it was a bbq) that I could go upstairs to the master bathroom and have plenty of privacy. It just seemed so sweet to me that he would kinda look out for me - and the fact that I have a friend who's supportive of my ed is really touching.
Well, I think it's time to go to bed. Have a wonderful day my lovilies!

Down and Out

Uh, why do I always feel like this on Fridays? I'm midly depressed, nothing that I'd need my medication for, but just enough to feel "down". It mainly started last night, my hubby diasppointed me, I had a bad dream, and tonight he informed me that we're going to a friend's house for dinner.
I've been doing so good watching what I've been eating and purging those things that I didn't want to effect my body- but still I feel huge today. I'm bloated and "poochy". The last thing that I want to do is get dressed to go out with friends. Yes, I'm excited to have some fun tonight, but I'm more in a mood to just do nothing.

I feel like I'm over thinking my life lately. I have so many things going for me- every one at work loves me and my boss (and my boss' boss) are constantly telling me how great my work is. I've been getting great opportunities at work and they're always "picking" me to do stuff- like having a luncheon with a visiting dignitary, ect. Online, I've finally found an outlet for my ED issues and it's been so great getting to know more people and truely finding out that my problems aren't only my problems and that there are others dealing with the same things.
At the same time though- the one thing I really want I can't get by myself. I want to get pregnant! I want a baby so bad! I've always wanted kids and now I've been married for almost 5 years and I'll be getting out of the military soon, so it's perfect timing. I just don't feel like my husband is as "dedicated" as I am about it. If you've read my earlier posts, you know that my husband and I are about to move back in together after about 8 months of "dating" again. This was MY week, THE week, for us to get pregnant, and he worked so late every day that we couldn't see each other afterward. I know that over-thinking it and stressing myself out will make it harder for me to get pregnant- but things are perfect right now! If we got pregnant now like I want, then our due date will be October 15- a time when there are no holidays that would "over shadow" my kid's birthday's in the future. My b-day is around Mother's Day, my little sister's is around Thanksgiving- and we both know how much it sucks when the days line up and everyone else is celebrating something else on your birthday. Does anyone else get where I'm coming from? Am I just over-thinking it?

Okay, this is long- enough complaining for tonight. I guess I need to go and get ready to go.

Letter to the Editor

In response to an article in the Elk Grove Citizen- in which they mentioned Skinny's blog directly:

Elk Grove Citizen,
While your article entitled "Starving Together" certainly addresses a very serious disease and some of the issues that go along with it, you've missed some very important points. Pro Anorexia / Pro Bulimia sites are in no way the same as Pro Ana / Pro Mia sites. Pro Ana and/or Pro Mia sites recognize that eating disorders are mental illnesses, while Pro Anorexia / Pro Bulimia sites refer to it as a "lifestyle choice". On a Pro Ana or Pro Mia site, you will not find "tips" or "tricks" relating to having an eating disorder, nor will you find out how to "get" an eating disorder. It's impossible to "catch" or "start" a mental illness. On Pro Ana or Pro Mia sites, forums, and chats, those members who are found to be under the age of 14 or found to not already have eating disorders are banned immediately. Those sites, instead, are meant as a support group for those who are already dealing with this difficult illness. In the same way that drug addicts and alcoholics have mental illnesses- a person with an eating disorder cannot enter into recovery without wanting to. However, on a Pro Ana or Pro Mia site, if a member decides to go into recovery, they are supported and encouraged. This is not the case on Pro Anorexia or Pro Bulimia sites. On those sites, forums, or chats, members who decide to go into recovery are often belittled and told that they are "weak". Anyone with an illness or problem should have somewhere they can go to talk about it. People with eating disorders are often ashamed and embarrassed for others to know, so Pro Ana or Pro Mia sites are the "safe havens" for them. Any member, manager, or director of a Pro Ana or Pro Mia site will agree with your article as it pertains to Pro Anorexia or Pro Bulimia sites - however, I think anyone will agree that everyone should have a place (even if it is on the internet) to go where they feel safe.

Connecting to the world from my bedroom

Oh, it's been a long day. I went into work early this morning to get some work done, but by noon my back wasn't having it! After a really crappy morning of having my coffee made wrong and not being able to get the doctor at work to see me (after waiting for 45 mins!!!) I made the decision to basically say "screw you Navy medical" - and went over to the clinic on the army base next door. It was such a good decision! Within 45 mins (remember, that's equal to how long I waited w/o being seen at my work) they had seen me, given me a shot of torridol, and sent me home to relax. Also, they officially said I have sciatica- an official diagnosis that I've been waiting for for a while.
Well, so I got home to lay down and my PAO girls came to the rescue so I wouldn't be bored. Between chat, getting connected on Skype, and setting up my formspring account (http://www.formspring.me/SmallerSide), I had a great day. While formspring is definitely a little childish- it's fun if anything! Hehe.
On a downside, I was a little bummed with the hubby. I thought for sure that he'd come and take care of me. Even more upsetting is that we're trying to get pregnant right now, and with my back like this and with him not here- that's certainly not happening.

But- I do have good news- I'm down another pound! Oh, and I put my weight-loss goals on the side here if you guys want to check it out. Yes, I know my BMI is higher than pretty much anyone and everyone else- but whatever- at least it's going down.

Love you guys!

2 UPs 2 DOWNs

Not that long ago I entered the world of iTunes. For some reason on my old computer I couldn't get the iTunes store to work- so I was never able to subscribe to podcasts. Well, when my hubby got me a new iPod for Christmas (my old one got zapped in the pool when i didn't close my swim case correctly) I was finally able to check out the world of podcasts. I'm studying to be a midwife, so one of the ones I subscribed to is called PregTastic- it's all pregnant women talking about their experiences plus they have guest speakers to talk about random stuff. Well, every podcast, it starts off with all the pregnant women giving 2 ups and 2 downs for their week. Here are mine....(and no, I'm not pregnant..yet)
2 UPs: I was down 2 lbs this morning! Woohoo! I'm pretty sure that that's an up in anyone's book. Second one is that I got a lot of stuff done at work today- which is just that much less that I have to do tomorrow.
2 DOWNs: My back is killing me! It was hurting last night, but by the time I got to work this morning I could barely stand up or sit down without extreme pain. Now I'm on my bed, laying on my back, doing a whole lot of nothing. Boring. My last down? Ummm, can I trade it for an up? My back hurts so bad that I don't even feel like eating! (I guess it depends on who you ask if that's an up or down).